Vegeta Plus Slushie Equals Frere Jacques
by Captain LeBubbles
Summary: Vegeta and family head off to New Orleans for a Family Vacation.Vegeta drinks a slushie. But not a normal slushie. Oh, come on, you know the title makes you want to read it. Rated for... well, you'll find out.


Vegeta+SlushieFrere Jacques

A/N- This is dedicated to my band director, who inspired the story. (sigh) I miss Mr. Mitchell.

Disclaimer- Yeah, I don't own this. I don't own Frere Jacques. If you don't like Vegeta's treatment (or mistreatment) of the song... get over it.

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Trunks leaned back, letting the wind whip through his luscious lavender locks. He watched the scenery rush by. It was a beautiful spring day in southern Louisianna, and the Briefs family was on vacation. Ironically, it had been Vegeta's idea. He had shocked them all two days ago when he had up and announced that they would be taking a family vacation. after all, Vegeta wasn't exactly a "Family" type guy. Perhaps his offspring's constant fighting of late had something to do with it.

Bulla leaned forward in her seat to talk to Vegeta. "Daddy, once we're checked in the hotel, can we go shopping?"

Vegeta looked at her in the rearview mirror. She smiled hopefully. He sighed in resignation.

"All right, fine," he said, then added, "but tomorrow we do something that doesn't involve shopping."

"That's fair," she said.

That's why, and hour an a half later, the family was seen at the mall. Vegeta looked around. Trunks had found some girls to flirt with. He was now leaning against a hotdog stand chatting with them. Bulla had dragged Bulma off to show off some latest fashion or other. Vegeta had been left to his own devices. This is how he found the slushy stand.

He was wandering around, trying to find his wife or one of his offspring, when he saw it. Suddenly, everything was pushed from his nmind. You see, Vegeta has a secret slushie obsession. You name the flavor, and he's had it. He's probably even combined that with other flavors. He even knows the best spots to get different flavors. He also has an unnatural obsession with Invader Zim, but that's beside the point.

Anyway, back to the present. Vegeta walked over to the slushie vendor. He held out a dollar.

"One please," he said. The vendor nodded and handed him the slushie. He took a sip. It tasted a bit different than he was used to, but he dismissed it as different place, different taste.

It was about 25 minutes later when Bulma, Bulla, and Trunks walked up. By now, he was almost done with his second slushy. There was a look of bliss on his face. Bulla glanced at the near-empty cup in her father's hand.

"Dad, PLEASE tell me you didn't get that slushie at that stand over there." She pointed at the slushy stand. He nodded, smiling happily.

"Oh no..." She turned to her mother. "Mom, we have to leave, now."

"Why?" Trunks asked. "Just because he drank a slushie?"

"Apparently, Trunks, you don't know that in New Orleans they put alcohol in their slushies."

"We need to go, NOW."

They were about to leave when a message came over the intercom. Vegeta looked at the speaker, then the microphone thingy the manger chick was using. His face split into a grin.

"Oh, no," Bulma said.

"INTERCOM!" Vegeta exclaimed happily. He ran over and waited for the manager to wander off in some other direction. Once she was gone, he picked up the microphone thingy and tapped it.

"Hello, Ladies and goims, " He said. "How are you doing today? I'm doing great. In fact, I'm better than great. I'm fantastic!"

"Trunks, go get your father down from there," Bulma ordered.

He looked at her. "You're kidding, right?"

"What we need is a song," Vegeta was saying. Before anyone could stop him, he'd taken a deep breath and began singing. Loudly. And off-key.

"Freary jock-quest! Freary jock-quest! Doormess voose! Doormess voose! Sonnets less martinis! Sonnets less martinis! Din din don!"

The manager came running up right then. She looked mad.

"Sir, put that down right now!"

"No!" He opened his mouth to start singing again. The manager jumped up the platform. She tried to take it from him.

"Give it here now!"

"Ok." He shrugged and let go. She went flying backwards. Vegeta turned to the small audience that had gathered. He bowed. "Thank you, Cleveland!"

He jumped off of the platform and ran off. The manager stood and glared at him angrily. She gave chase.

Now, normally, she would have had no chance of catching our Saiyan prince. But we must consider the fact that he is drunk. He does not have an accurate memory of his abilities. So she began to gain on him.

Vegeta realized that she was gaining. He decided that he must evade capture. He yanked off his shirt and threw it in the direct path of the manager's feet. She stumbled, but didn't fall, and suddenly many women were very interested in the chase. Bulma glared. Trunks sighed in exasperation. Bulla groaned and tried to sink into the wall.

"Umm..." Trunks said. "Maybe we should get him before he takes off his pants... nope... too late.:."

Sure enough, Vegeta had ditched his pants. (Bubbles- Back, beast! Back I say! fights off Vegeta obsessed fangirls )

A security guard walked up to them.

"Excuse me," he asked, "but does he belong to you?"

"Yes," Trunks said. Bulla groaned and tried to sink further into the wall.

"Oh, don't worry,"Bulma reassured them. "He'll stop in 3...2...1." At that moment, Vegeta stopped running and fell to the ground in a crumpled heap. They could just barely hear him snoring.

"Wow mom, that was cool," Bulla said. Bulma smiled proudly for about 3.2 seconds before she remembered the situation.

"Trunks, go get your father," she ordered. "Bulla and I will go get the car."

"All right, I'll see what I can do."

They split up, with Bulma and Bulla going in the direction of the car and Trunks in the direction of his unconscious father. He was going to throw him over his shoulder, put thought better of it, since his father was currently in his underwear. He grabbd his dad's wrist and began dragging him. A few people stared, but he knew his dad wouldn't mind. After all, he was injured worse on a regular basis during his sparring sessions with Goku. And Trunks just couldn't resist getting a little revenge for dragging him through Capsule Corp that one time... heh-heh.

"Here comes Trunks," Bulla said. ashe hopped out of the car and helped Trunks load Vegeta into the back of the car. Bulma eyed her husband.

"Trunks, maybe you should drive," she suggested. "You know, just in case he wakes up and wonders why there are road burns on his back." She looked accusingly at her son, who laughed and shrugged.

"Right...I drive...got it..."

One hour later...

Vegeta awoke with a moan and held his head.

"Man, where did I get a headache this bad?" He asked of no one in particular. "And how did I get back to the hotel? And why am I in my underwear? And why does my back hurt?

In the next room, Bulma was watching tv with her two offspring when she heard Vegeta wake up and begin musing to himself.

"i think your father's awake," she stated matter-of-factly.

"Yeah, but is he normal again? Trunks asked warily.

"WOMAN! GET IN HERE!"

"Oh, yeah. He's normal."

She got up and walked into the next room, yelling as she did.

"Vegeta, if I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times, I have a name and its not WOMAN! So if you want me to take care of your back, you can try being a little NICER!"

Brother and sister looked at each other.

"You know," Trunks said, "I almost miss the other side of Dad."

Bulla grinned. "Almost."

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A/N- That is easily the longest oneshot I've ever posted. Now that I've posted all of my very short oneshots, I can move up to the longer stories. So in the future, look for the longer stories than the one's Ive been posting.

An dreview. Reviews make me happy, and I write my best stuff when I'm happy.

Actually, I do my best work when I 'm half asleep. But you don't need to know that.


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